Jarzaout...Is the Dill Done?

(Ann Arbor Michigan)

In a hastily called conference call with M&M Bowl officials and select members of the media, Commissioner Dennis Jarzabek announced his resignation today. Jarrzabek made it quick and to the point, "After three years, I'm done. I'm going to pursue other projects." Mr. Jarzabek took no questions and hung up.

There's much speculation as to what these "other projects" are. It's been widely known that that Jarz has a growing interest in music and some believe he is working on a solo album. Many believe the album will combine his three favorite genres Country, Regae and Rap into a fusion called CRAP. Whatever he's doing, he's definitely no longer commissioner.

In a surprising announcement, Draft host Gordon Dill said, "If there's no Jarz, there's no Dill", after learning of the Jarz resignation.

M&M Bowl Captains gave their reactions to the whole thing. Mark Allen said, "We all saw this coming. The last three years with Jarzabek have been a train wreck. And as far as Dill goes, I didn't realize the two of them were that intimate."

Kevin Moran had this to say," I think we'll learn he was forced about the Ethics Committee for betting on the games. I guess all those dropped passes were on purpose. But this will allow the relationship between Jarz and Dill to flourish."

Michael Stone wished them well,"I'm only concerned with important matters, but I hope they're happy together."

Mark Lyon seemed to have more of a problem with Dill."It's a shame, I thought Jarz was about to take it to the next level, but I'll be first in line to buy his album at Family Dollar. But this just proves Dill can't be funny without Jarz and he was afraid of not having good material. Comics like him are a dime a dozen."

Speculation as to who will fill the role of Commissioner is already wide spread. Several names are already being thrown out there, including: Mike Giordano, Scott Enright, Chris Cato, Michael Cogdill, Nick Nygro, Sean Musseralo and Mary Ann Snyder.

Mark Lyon suggested the brakes be put on the process,"We're not going to speculate in a public forum. We're going to have an exhaustive search and intense interviews or maybe just see who's not busy that night."